Always like to spice things up a little here at headway youth, so today a guest post from Zoe...
Last weekend we took a trip to Preston and saw Jon and Morgana walk down the aisle. We met up with the lovely Abi and had an extensive discussion about Christian marriage which raised some interesting questions. Is there too much emphasis on pre-marital abstinence and a neglect of wisdom and regard for the sanctity of marriage? Umpteen couples we know have made the transition between singledom, dating and marriage at breakneck speed and all at a very young age whilst on the other side handfuls of faithful Christians cope with painful separations.
I vividly recall embarrassing youth group sessions with a dodgy Steve Chalke video calling us all to surrender the power of our hormones to Jesus but I don’t recall the session on how important it is to choose your partner wisely. I wonder if the ‘call to abstinence’ compels young people to marry quickly, an obvious way to deal with raging hormones, after all surely God will honour the sacrifice of abstinence and bless the marriage? I fear in the cold light of day it’s not quite so simple.
Not for a second am I suggesting that all young marriages are destined for the scrap heap (I could hardly talk) nor that the engagement length determines a marriage’s success but rather that the combination of the two is a dangerous one. In the all too saccharine Christian world where the difficulties of life often remain undiscussed is the church failing to put forward a realistic view of marriage? And in the case of my 21 year-old friend who last weekend announced her engagement to her boyfriend of 3 months is the church failing to be a voice of reason and wisdom.
As I plan my own wedding I realise that my in depth planning is symbolic of my commitment to marriage. I want to be able to give it my best and to give it the best start possible and that might mean waiting an extra year but that’s ok. Perhaps this is why these quick marriages stick in my throat so much. Is it easy come easy go? Or will the couples be around in years to come? I really hope they prove my suspicions wrong.
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